Stuff to Love in September 2015

Sands Beach, 7:30am, in my attempt to embrace ordinary weekday mornings. Definitely a not-so-ordinary view.

It's a lazy Friday afternoon. The kids are napping (even Anna!) and I'm listening to an odd mix of albums on Spotify along with the constant clanging of construction outside our windows. (By next fall over 1,000 students will be living just a stone's throw from our yard, joining the two HUGE towers of freshman dorms which already exist. Hello, UCSB!) We are loving our new home, kind neighbors, safe streets, and ocean air. And, as fall approaches, I've been asking God to give us a heart for Isla Vista. I'm excited about the loads of students who are moving back into our community this weekend, even if their lives look absolutely nothing like mine right now. I've been told that Halloween in our neighborhood is OFF THE HOOK, and if El Nino hits, we'll also get to enjoy some amazing bird and duck watching in the nearby pond. 

That being said...there is no water (yet) in these parts. It may be autumn everywhere else in the country, but besides the abundance of pumpkin items at our local Trader Joe's, it might as well be July. I can't wait for October, which is my favorite month in Santa Barbara. The beaches aren't as busy, the weather is perfect, and you can almost feel a hint of "colder" days to come. 

In the meantime, this guy and I are enjoying Wednesday morning bike rides together. Sweet boy still loves being close to me, and I can't get enough of his giggles. 

If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook, you'll know that I'm really excited about a new NIV Women's Bible which releases in a few days. I've contributed several devotionals, along with many of my Redbud friends and my college roommate, Katie. Here's where you can buy a copy...but also...how cool are these journaling bibles? Decisions, decisions. Anyone use a journaling bible?

I'm also intrigued by adult coloring books. I haven't purchased one yet but Margaret Feinberg just released a beautiful one with scripture passages. If you're like, "Wait. What? Adult coloring books?" then you should read this article: What to Look For in the Best Christian Adult Coloring Books. My college girlfriends and I are already planning a coloring sesh during our fall getaway next month. #nerdalert

So long as I'm discussing random things you can buy at Christian bookstores, I'll confess I just bought Stephen Curtis Chapman's latest album. And I like it. You guys. I like Stephen Curtis Chapman. I feel so...old. 

Here are some of my favorite reads from around the web this week:

Understanding the refugee crisis in Europe, Syria and around the world 

True Believer? Why Donald Trump is the Choice of the Religious Right — Let me assure you—I will NEVER, EVER vote for this man. Someone take the microphone away. 

A very funny spoof in the housing market in Santa Barbara. (She cries.)

Why Generation Y is unhappy and Why it doesn't matter how you feel about your friends

This (kind of) explains why some women develop new allergies after having babies. (I can't wear earrings anymore without getting a splitting headache. Weird, right?)

One of my favorite new blogs recently discussed 5 Prayers Every Mother Needs to Utter. 

Why Christians Should Paint, Dance, Quilt, Act, Compose Music, Write Stories, Decorate Cookies and Participate in the Arts

My newest contribution for Red Tricycle: 8 Baby Sleep Tips for Desperate Parents. I knew those sleepless nights would eventually lead to some good writing fodder. #notworthit #learnfrommysleeplessnights

“I’ve forgotten how to sit and rest

Thought happiness was being busy

Prayed a thousand prayers

For strength to keep on moving

Turns out I’ve raced by a lot of beauty

So lead me to still waters

Let this be my new prayer

I want a...

A little more love,

A little less movement

A little more quiet,

A little less noise

A little more wide eyed wonder

Of the simple things I’m holding

Embracing ordinary moments
”

— Jenny Simmons: More Love, Less Hustle

Have a fantastic weekend, and tell me what you're up to! 

New season, new space

You made it! You're here! Hello faithful Barefooton45th readers, and thank you for following the breadcrumbs to my new site. Do you like what you see?

After many, many years on Wordpress, my blog was in desperate need of a makeover but I didn't know enough coding to make the changes myself. This realization, combined with a desire to start fresh and stay motivated, led me to SquareSpace. The blog change is coming at a great time for me professionally because I also launched a new website for my copywriting and freelance services. While I've been freelancing for a long time, I've been taking the craft a little more seriously these days which means I need a professional presence for anyone looking to hire me. (Hi! Hire me! Go check out my services page.)

I hope you believe me when I say that not much is changing as far as my writing themes go, but I do hope this space feels cleaner, tidier, and less chaotic. And, just to give myself some grace, I will admit I'm not completely done with the updates.  I will likely continue to fiddle around with the site for a little while and you may notice some changes here or there in the upcoming months. 

If you read my blog through an RSS feed or blog reader, please make sure to update your feeds. If you subscribe by e-mail, I've already updated your contact information so you don't need to anything. If you'd like to begin subscribing by e-mail (good choice!) scroll to the top of this page and look for the signup form in the upper right corner. 

xoxo and thank you! 

Pushing through

photo credit to Jen Yau

Summer isn't officially over, but our kids go back to preschool on Tuesday so the routine of the school year is beckoning. We had a summer full of travel, moving and visitors—so fun—but I think we're all ready for things to settle down so we can enjoy our new home and do things together as a family again.

This past weekend was full of play and rest. We loved every moment.

Friday afternoon I got a haircut and then met up with Jill. We grabbed an appetizer downtown and chatted about minivans, kid tantrums and what we learned (and still are learning) as female professionals. Then I headed to The Honor Bar in Montecito for dinner with Corinne, the Annas, Meg and Josephine. We are all in full agreement that Donald Trump must go, and we swapped silly stories between debating Botox and the age of our male waiter. The kale salad? Highly recommend. 

On Saturday we got donuts as a family before heading to Santa Claus Lane for a beach day with friends. Our kids are now at an age where beach days can sometimes last more than an hour, with minimal crying, depending on the day. The older crew—Anna, James, Madison and Daxon—enjoy digging holes and chasing each other in the waves while their siblings—Owen, Fletcher, Lexi and Ace—attempt to keep up. The adults all got in the water too (it was so warm!) but not without much drama from me, because I didn't like the shark sightings a day before. The beach was SO crowded, which I loved, because it reminded me of summers in Newport. When it's 86 and sunny at the beach, everyone is so, so happy.

We spent Saturday night at the Santa Barbara Mission, saying goodbye to some sweet friends who are moving. It was still so very hot, and the kids decided that water fights were a perfect solution. I agree.

On Sunday we attended church! Like, we sat in the sanctuary and listened during the whole service. This deserves an exclamation point because we love church but don't get to attend as much as we'd like to. (Between vacations, a virus or two, visitors and volunteering in Sunday school we listened to a service may three times this entire summer. Ouch.)

After church we went to our neighborhood pool, which is turning into a somewhat regular occurrence on weekends (and weeknights too!) Anna loves swimming but Owen cries the whole time. Can't make everyone happy, right?

Then...you guys...I sat in the backyard for an hour on Sunday afternoon and read For the Love. It was BLISS. And the book is really good and a fast read. 

Jonathan has spent the last six weeks trying to get our bikes set up so that we could go for a family ride. We're borrowing a trailer bike for Anna which was SUPER complicated to install and involved selling a bike, buying a new one, and making several visits to Bicycle Bob's. Jonathan has so much patience and drive with this kind of thing, and I'm grateful because our family bike ride to the Bluffs and Blenders might be my favorite memory of summer. One of the best things about our new neighborhood is how close we are to the beach, and how safely we can ride there. 

There's something very special about finding activities we can do as a family that everyone enjoys. Since our kids are still little, outings often feel like more work than play but this weekend we truly enjoyed our time together. Raising little kids isn't easy, and when they're babies it's hard to imagine anything beyond bottles and blowouts. I love seeing our kids grow up, and enjoying them in new ways. This weekend was good for my mama heart. 

Did you do anything fun last weekend? What are your Labor Day plans?

The not-so-perfect engagement ring

My engagement ring has been making a strange rattling sound for a few months so I stopped into a jewelry store yesterday on the way to the beach. The kids and I were lathered in sunscreen and they rubbed their greasy fingers all over the glass display cases while I explained my concerns to the owner. "I think it's loose," I say in one breath, while lecturing the kids in my next. "Use your eyes, not your hands."  

I'd been meaning to do this boring errand for weeks, but taking two kids into a jewelry store is fairly high up on my List of Things I Would Rather Not Do, Ever.

The owner examines the ring while I play defense with the kids. After a few minutes he hands it back.

"You know there's a chip in one of the stone's corners, right?" he says. I nod. The chip, an accident, isn't noticeable to the naked eye but it's causing one of the prongs not to hold as well. "Do you remember how it happened?" he asks with some surprise and curiosity. Diamonds are known to be extremely strong stones, after all. "Maybe you knocked it against a kitchen counter or another hard surface?" he suggests.

I smile with amusement. I'm in a season of life where I'm using my hands a lot. There is cooking and cleaning and scrubbing and moving and lifting and pushing carts and all sorts of other little tasks to keep a family alive. So when he asks if I can remember such an incident, I can't help but wonder, which one?

The jeweler adjusts the prong and quickly cleans the ring before sending us on our way. It shines confidently in the morning light and I remember when I admired it for the first time.

It's been almost 11 years since my sweet man slipped the stone on my finger in front of hundreds of gawking holiday tourists in Rockefeller Center. I was so excited—shocked, really—that I didn't take a close look until a few hours later. I remember staring at its brilliance while the waiter at a fancy restaurant in the West Village poured champagne. ("Are they old enough to drink?" he was probably thinking.)

We hadn't gone ring shopping together, so my engagement ring was the first and only one I tried on. I let it catch the chandelier's light and scatter brilliance over the restaurant while Jonathan explained how he chose just the right one. Clarity and cut and size all meant nothing to me, but for a man who'd just maxed out his credit card, they meant a lot. He talked carats and letters, lengths and widths. Later that night I'd wake up from a deep sleep and reach for my left hand, making sure this valuable symbol of his affection wasn't just a dream. I even went into the bathroom, turning on the light for a peak at it's beauty before falling back asleep.

Today is our ten year wedding anniversary. That engagement ring still sits on my left hand, as brilliant to the eye as when I first received it, but as the jeweler reminded me yesterday it's no longer in perfect form. When I first learned of the diamond's chip a few years ago I was sad about the news. Even though the diamond still looks the same, I didn't like knowing it is probably less valuable now.

And yet as I reflect back on the last ten years, there is something about the diamond's chip that feels like an honest reflection of the union between husband and wife.

On our wedding day, our marriage didn't yet carry a single flaw. The day was a grand affair on the water with passed appetizers, a big tiered cake, and one of those candy stations because I had to have a candy station. My dad found a party-till-the-late-hours cover band, and my mom made sure all the napkins matched with the invitations, and other such details I'd overlook. The day itself was glittery, and expensive, and flawless...just like my ring.

And then, as marriage should go and did go, we jumped into real life. The everyday. The confusion about our dreams and how to chase them. The waiting for acceptance letters. The we-have-no-money moments. The law school loans. The job losses. The job acceptances! The graduation. The offer, the escrow, the remodel. The positive pregnancy tests. The terrible CT scan. The surgeries. Moving. Moving again, and again, and again. The holidays with friends, the vacations with family. The infant who won't stop crying. The wife who barely showered for awhile. The husband without eyebrows. The constantly smelly sink and the never ending pile of laundry, and the mostly funny debates about which butter to buy, and why is football on the television again, and do you really have to fart under the sheets?

Ten years later, I know the beautifully hard work of marriage. Many days, most days, my lovely ring is caked with with soap scum and diaper ointment and play dough. Underneath it all is a little crack that doesn't signify a marriage falling apart, but holding strong despite the circumstances of normal, give-and-take life.  It'd be easy to feel disappointed that something that once seemed perfect is no longer so, but that chip was earned. It's a mark of all that's right, not all that's wrong. Unlike a wedding or a ring, a healthy and happy marriage isn't something that can be bought. It's a constant work in progress. I wouldn't have it any other way.