Best of 2015

We're in that weird in-between week when Christmas decorations are still up but the red cups at Starbucks are gone. It seems that half the world is on vacation while the other half is furiously finishing projects before year's end. At our house, Christmas chaos still litters the halls and the bickering of overly-tired children is causing my ears to twitch. We are in play mode and rest mode and clean-up mode all at once.

We had a really special December; full of the best kind of memory making. We started each morning with a candlelight breakfast and advent story, and ended each night with lots and lots (and lots) of Christmas books. There was gingerbread house decorating and cookie making, and a few memorable homegroup dinners. There was a "very scary" visit to Santa at Westmont, several Christmas performances by the kids, the first annual Friends Navidad game night, a girls' outing to Ojai for Christmas wreath making, a family snow night at the mall with dear friends, and a boat parade date night. The month felt full in all the right ways, even if someone was sick for every single week of the month.

I suppose you can see why, despite my best efforts, it's been a slow blog year for me. I continue to battle for pockets of time to chase my writing/entrepreneurial dreams while also being present in the equally important career of child raising. Some months prove easier than others when it comes to how these two passions collide or co-exist. In related news, why do children barf so frequently?

And yet, despite my slower blogging habits, I'd be remiss if I didn't complete my annual "Best of" list, which is is a little shorter than past years. I hope you'll still enjoy some of my favorite links, finds, and memories from 2015, and I wish you lots of love and peace as we welcome 2016.

Best Books of 2015: The Girl on the Train (Fiction) and For the Love: Fighting for Grace in a World Full of Impossible Standards (Non-fiction). My full 2015 reading list is here. (Also: Bringing Up Bebe and Raising Your Spirited Child were my two favorite parenting books this last year, and I think are two of my favorites of all time.)

Best Movie of 2015: The Martian (Because it was a date night, and MATT DAMON, and I can't remember what else I saw in theaters this year.)

Best Song of 2015: Uptown Funk by Mark Ronson and Bruno Mars. (Because, hearing a two year old sing Uptown Funk is hilarious, and because we had an epic moment on the dance floor in Jackson, Mississippi during Matt and Elizabeth's wedding.) My 2015 Spotify playlist.

Best TV of 2015: Did I mention that I don't really like television anymore? Nashville and Scandal are too depressing, The Americans is a good show but a little bit slow for my taste, and Modern Family is funny but doesn't have me hooked. Ideas?

Best Podcast of 2015: Kat Lee's Inspired to Action, especially this episode with Sarah Mae. (Also: currently listening to Serial, Season 2. It's fine, but not nearly as great as last year.)

Best Blog Post of 2015: I Wish Someone Would Have Warned Me About These BIG FEELINGS by Jen Hatmaker

Best Article of 2015: Should Christians Be Encouraged to Arm Themselves? by John Piper

Best Recipe of 2015: Avocado Egg Rolls! (Is there anything better than healthy fats and unhealthy fats mixed into a flavorful explosion in your mouth? I think not.)

What Worked For Me in 2015:

• Jumping into leadership roles at MOPS and church, which has led to meeting some really wonderful, fun, hilarious and God loving people.
• Sending Owen to "preschool" (aka: daycare, two mornings a week.) I'm a better mom when I have a few mornings to pursue non-mom related tasks.
• Family bike rides, beach strolls and a LOT of amazing sunsets. (We set a 2015 goal to watch the sunset at least once a week. It didn't happen during the late evening summer months, but it did happen way more than I thought it would over the last 12 months.)
• Moving to a new blog space
• Joining the Coffee + Crumbs writer team AND flying to Chicago for the Redbud conference. There is nothing better than writing in the community of other passionate, lovely women.

Best Moments of 2015:

• Stuffing our faces with cookies at Sarah & Michael's wedding in San Diego last January. Happy (almost) 1 year, newlyweds!
• Walking the beach with my love, on my 33rd birthday.
• The food at Matt & Elizabeth's southern wedding in Jackson. The final Miller sibling is married off, and we're so happy for them!
• Debuting my dad's 60th birthday video at his June bash.
• Watching my grandpa open his Fitbit for his 90th birthday in Catalina.
• Beach days at Padaro, an epic Labor Day weekend dance party at Jalama Canon Ranch, and regular Saturday donut store dates (despite my hatred for donuts.)
• Every single sunset during our 10th anniversary trip to Hawaii. Also: poke.
• The day Owen stopped crying when I dropped him off at preschool.
• Making hats with my girlfriends in Colorado.
• Seeing a heartbeat at our 8 week ultrasound. Baby (Boy) Miller, debuting in June 2016!
• Half Marathon Relay with some of the hardest working mamas in Santa Barbara.
• Mammoth with my family, and teaching Anna to ski, which is also on my least favorite list for 2015. Funny how that works.

A Few of My Own Favorite Articles in 2015:

The Hardest Baby Ever

When Your Career Status is a Flexible Arrangement

The Not-So-Perfect Engagement Ring

3 Tips for Making Friendship Work

Adieu, 2015. You were so good to us!

Would you rent clothing? I did!

I tried something new in October. It's called LE TOTE, and it's a clothing rental company that works similarly to Stitch Fix. A friend recommended the site, and gave me a promo code so the first box was only $25. I figured, for $25, why not?

Here's how LE TOTE works:

1. Create a quick account (and if you use my promo code, you'll get your first box for $25 too.)
2. Browse LE TOTE's clothing collections, and favorite at least 40 items. (This part is not hard! Their clothes are really cute—everything from trendy ponchos to jeans, handbags to necklaces, blouses to dresses.) When you like an item, you're not committing to renting it, you're simply letting your stylist know that it MIGHT be something you'd enjoy trying.
3. Soon—within 24 hours—you'll get an email with five items you'll be receiving. If there's anything in the box you don't like, you can swap before the box ships. In my first box, LE TOTE didn't have some of the items I really liked so they threw in an extra item for free. You'll receive three clothing pieces and two accessories in each box.
4. Once you get the box, keep it for an entire month or send it back after a few days and get another shipment. (Unlimited shipping is included in your monthly fee and they give you a bag for easy returns.) You can receive as many boxes as you want within the month, all for one set charge. I didn't understand this at first so I kept my items the full 30 days, but I could have probably swapped at least two more times, trying up to 15 items! If you love an item, you can purchase it for half off the retail price.

In my first box, I received three items that I requested, and two I did not. (See above.) They gave me the red shirt as a freebie item since some of my favorite items weren't available. I didn't love the red shirt and never wore it, but I appreciated the sentiment of a free tiem. In fact, I had some problems putting my box on hold in November and their customer service was always fast to respond.

Once the month is up, you have to decide if you like the service or not. If you don't—call and cancel—but if you do, you'll keep receiving boxes each month with items from your virtual closet. You can put your membership on hold here and there if you don't want a box every month.

I think LE TOTE is super fun, especially for people like me who tend to buy basics. For instance, I loved the sweater poncho in my box (aka: the sweater blanket—it was so long and cozy!) but I probably wouldn't buy an item like this because it's bold and can't be worn much in warm Santa Barbara. I took it to Colorado for my girls' weekend and enjoyed having something "new" to wear in colder weather.

LE TOTE is especially great for months you're traveling. Whenever I travel I usually want a few new pieces to take with me but I can't usually justify the expense of buying five new items.

And, another great excuse for a LE TOTE subscription is pregnancy. The service has an entire maternity division! Can you imagine how fun it would be to receive "new" clothes throughout your pregnancy, especially in those final months when you're tired of the four shirts and two pairs of pants you keep rotating through?

I'd love to hear from you! Would you try something like this service? Let me know if you do! At $25 for your first box, it's certainly a fun way to mix up your holiday wardrobe.

Stuff to Love in November 2015

Books: I finally finished a few books that have been on my reading list for ages! I never think there's time to read but when I pick up a good book it doesn't feel hard to find a few pockets of time throughout the day. If you grew up attending a high school church youth group you'll probably appreciate Addie Zierman's When We Were on Fire. If you've never felt comfortable with women being given "children's director" roles rather than simply being called a pastor, you'll enjoy Jesus Feminist by Sarah Bessey. And...I'm smack dab in the middle of this French parenting book, which is fascinating!

Food: I made Ina Garten's Beef Bourguignon with all my college friends during our Colorado trip last month. It's a time consuming recipe with rich flavors; perfect for a winter dinner party. I made it again a few weeks ago when we had friends over, and served with a seasonal salad and Trader Joe's pumpkin pie cheesecake. Speaking of cheesecake, this copycat Avocado Eggrolls Cheesecake Factory recipe is THE BOMB, and easier than you might think.

Podcasts: At Home with Sally is new and not quite polished (yet) but I love hearing from a veteran mom when there are so few in the blogosphere/podcast sphere. Also, Elizabeth Gilbert's Magic Lessons is all the rage right now with my writer friends. I've only listened to a handful but they are certainly inspiring.

TV/Movies: While I occasionally need a veg night on the couch, TV hasn't felt very relaxing recently. (I've been spending more time in bed with a book, see above.) BUT, when we do sit down together we watch The Americans. We also saw The Martian (really good!) and took Anna to see The Good Dinosaur while we were in Mammoth. (It was cute but she may have had nightmares after seeing it. Oops.)

Wearing: A new Stitch Fix top, these lightweight Nike shoes and a killer pair of ankle boots from the Bass outlet.

Using: Mrs. Meyer's Orange Clove multi-purpose surface cleaner because it smells like CHRISTMAS and who doesn't love a little Christmas smell when you're cleaning your kitchen table three times a day? I used to be a loyal Vitacost fan but I recently tried ePantry and liked it too. There's something very satisfying about shopping for harder-to-find items without kids hanging off the shopping cart. If this sounds appealing to you, try my promo code for $10 off. (Honestly, I can't imagine life without online shopping.)

Favorite purchases: If you follow me on Instagram you'll know that we bought a minivan and essential oils last month. My legit mom status just went up about five points, and my cool factor went down by 20. But, we have cup holders! And three of us avoided Jonathan's stomach bug last week! I'll take these purchases as a win.

Things we did: Beach walks, afternoon tea parties, music class, bike rides, and afternoons in the cul-de-sac are all part of our regular routine. I also ran part of the Santa Barbara Half Marathon on a moms' relay team. (Such a fun morning!) The kids and I saw THE JANA ALAYRA in concert (also known as the best day of their lives) and we went to Mammoth for Thanksgiving week (braving very cold weather but sort of teaching Anna to ski.)

Reads I love on the web:

Sharon Hodde Miller's Follow the Fear, about realizing that helping the vulnerable might actually cost us something.

Why it's good to have a strong-willed child and why you should let up on them

Un-Haunted: Leaving Guns Behind in America by my friend Christin Taylor. Her observations will certainly make you think. Does anyone else still get worried every time you set foot in a movie theater?

The Real Secret to Making All Your Dreams Come True was a much needed read for me this month!

Anticipating: The holiday season, of course! Santa parades, kids' Christmas performances, baking cookies, making a gingerbread house, wearing Christmas pajamas, a wreath making party in Ojai, a romantic date night or two.

Why I Won't Call You Skinny

I played competitive volleyball throughout high school because at almost six feet tall the sport seemed like an obvious choice. While I was by no means a star athlete, I played four years on club and varsity teams before retiring my jersey. I worked out 5-6 days a week most of the calendar year, ate whatever I felt like eating, and wore size 6-8 pants. I have no idea what I weighed because it simply didn't matter to me. 

There were plenty of girls who were skinnier or curvier than I was, and I didn't care.  I never wished for bigger boobs or a smaller waist line, but I also wasn't obsessed with my looks. My body was just my body— it served a purpose, and I knew nothing different and wanted nothing different. 

After high school graduation I gained the dreaded freshman fifteen, which I only realized years later when picture evidence indeed proved that my face was very, very puffy from 2000-2002. I suppose that's what happens when one exchanges daily workouts for daily frozen yogurt in the Dining Commons. Eventually I learned to eat a more balanced diet and a lot of the weight came off. I had good friends and a sweet boyfriend, and losing or gaining 10 pounds here and there wasn't something that bothered me. In fact, it wasn't even something I noticed. 

In an effort to get toned for my wedding 10 years ago, I started running. I hadn't been exercising regularly since high school, so starting a work out regimen seemed like a responsible thing to do. I ran three days a week and added some weight training at the YMCA. 

And almost immediately, the comments started. 

"You look so skinny! What's your secret?"

"Have you lost weight? How much weight?"

"You are too skinny. Please put some meat on your bones."

"I'm concerned about you? Do you have an eating disorder?"

All of a sudden, for the first time in my life, my body mattered to other people. They noticed, and they cared, and I wasn't sure why. It was my body, not their's, but it was being watched closely and with conviction. I remember feeling a mixture of embarrassment and pride about my new, skinnier frame. I hadn't set out to lose weight or gain attention, and yet I'd found both.

Several years later, when I began training for half marathons, the comments only continued. I ran five days a week because I loved the sport and camaraderie with friends, but my 5'11'' size 2 frame really bothered people. I wasn't dieting (I didn't even own a scale—and still don't!) but I knew when I'd lost weight based on the comments from family, co-workers and friends. 

Wow, you are just so skinny, they'd say.

And while it was true, I hated how they felt the need to tell me so. I hated that "skinny" was both a bad thing and a good thing; something to chase and something I'd done wrong. Was skinny a compliment? Was skinny a concern? Was skinny bad? Was skinny good? But mostly, I hated the realization that other people were paying close attention to my body, noticing my physical changes more than I noticed them myself.

Now, years later, I scrutinize my body in a way I never did before. Some of this is because my tummy has never quite looked the same since having babies, but a lot of its because once I realized how much other people were paying attention to my body, I started paying attention too. The oblivious high school and college girl, who didn't notice a 15 pound weight gain, has been replaced by a woman who sometimes stares in the mirror for long periods of time, dreaming about when I can run a half marathon again. If they noticed when I lost weight, they also notice when I gain weight. 

And I guess that's why I try not to call women skinny or thin, or any other adjectives that imply I'm sizing them up. When your cheeks are rosy and there's a smile on your face, I will tell you that you look great, because you do. I say things like:

"You are owning that outfit today."

"You look so refreshed and beautiful."

"Every time I've seen you recently, you seem so energetic and happy."

And when I'm staring myself in the mirror, analyzing and wishing things looked a little different, I tell myself the same things. If I'm moderately exercising and watching what I eat, I say "You are exactly the size you are supposed to be" and if I'm not taking care of my body, if I'm not giving it the nutrition and exercise it needs, then I tell myself, "You need to take care of yourself."

There are exceptions to my skinny talk, at time. There are people who are working very hard to lose post-baby pounds, or break lifelong unhealthy overeating habits. If you're following a friend's weight loss journey carefully, there may be appropriate times to tell someone they look thin. But, a lot of times, skinny and thin aren't necessary adjectives. A lot of the time, another person's weight simply doesn't need to be part of the conversation. 

photo credit: Oreo Mint via photopin (license)